Blah..
Aug
24
Written by:
Ky Lane
Wednesday, August 24, 2011 9:10 PM
..that pretty much sums up the last few months.
It's been a shit of a winter. Cold mornings and me no longer agree. The hardman status aint worth the aches and pains anymore. I think my age is finally starting to show; either that or Im REALLY turning into a roadie.
I think, if only metaphorically, its the former. I havent felt this old in, since forever.
Work is slow. Very slow. And when there's no work when you're a freelancer - theres no rent, or food, or bills paid. The floods continue to haunt me now 8 months later. Im starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel with the help of good friends and family, but I also fear that I've worn out my sneakers in the process. Im very tired. Not physically, and not mentally... it's my spirit thats been worn down with sandpaper, and we're getting to the marrow.
That being said, in terms of my cycling - my motivation seems to come and go. A client (finally) pays their bill, I get a few backlogged bills settled - I feel a little lighter, a little less anxious, and a bit like Im getting on top of things. I want to get up and ride, I have the spirit and the energy. Cue 2 weeks later, no clients paying bills, and we're back where we started.
There needs to be a career change in here somewhere - so if anyone knows of a high end bike shop who wants someone with a masters in design, been in cycling since he was 14 and is GENUINELY focussed on becoming a pointy end cyclist... you have my email. After 20 years of sitting behind a computer for a living, making virtual things that exist in a magnetic spinning disc somewhere in the world... I miss the tangible. I genuinely miss working with my hands, and dealing with people (I work from a home studio generally - hence the facebook obsession - its the closest thing i have to a social life at the moment - yes I know its sad) and I miss being passionate about what I do everyday. Dont get me wrong, I do my job very well - but theres always something to be said for passion. I was once passionate about what I do, but that ran out long ago once I got enough experience in this industry to know that 1> Im a peripheral, despite all my hard work, dedication, time, money etc.. Im just a servant and that 2> My clients for the past few years have been utter douchebags. Luckily, being self employed, I've been able to sack all the douches, and keep the people I like working with.
Anyway...
My cycling, my goals and my motivation have all suffered as a result. Im going to be brutally honest and say that getting up at 4am twice a week to climb the same hill over and over is pretty draining on the mind as well as the body. Im not a hill climber by any stretch of the imagination, so I suffer. Its humiliating at times, and very demoralising. ive been around long enough to not let it get to me, and keep the effort in perspective - but Im only human. I dont like getting passed, or lapped, or lapped again... silly pride.
I need a change. Ive gone back to the dirt a bit, and thats just been awesome. The trails at Gap Creek have, admittedly, been dumbed down, technically. Theres none of the rough, rocky, rooty sections anymore. And nay a log rollover to be seen. Its a shame, but its also good. Gap Creek being the climb fest that it is, its also now alot faster to get around. It feels more flowy and fast. I dig it. And at night, WEEEE! Its just balls of fun.
Also cue in Coach Boom's encouraging demeanor and suggestions of a new challenge - simulated altitude training.
This is new to me, and to be honest, I dont excactly understand the concept completely. You can explain the science to me a million times, but I still just dont get it. Im a bit simple like that I guess. Why would I sit on my bike, strapped to a trainer and do nothing more than plod along for an hour? Why? Because the extreme lack of oxygen in the room means my poor kidneys (god bless em) are having to produce ALOT more red blood cells to carry oxygen into my muscles so that I dont explode into a million little peices, or better - black out.
My first session, I was nervous. I wasnt sure what to expect. Was it like a hyperbaric chamber, pressurised up, or down? Is it a mask I have to strap myself to a contraption? Will it feel weird? Will I get dizzy? Will my fear of heights be exposed? Do I even need this?
Well, I can say that...
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First session was an amazing experience. Total reverse sports psycology. Dont go hard.
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During the session, I felt the stress on my body - but its hard to explain. Its like feeling clostrophobia, from the inside.. just a little.
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After the session, I felt fine. 100% fine. no aches, no burns, nothing. Felt like I had gone for a walk around the block.
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Leaving the altitude room, the rush of oxygen rich seal level air hits you like a miniature orgasm. You really notice it. It feels heavy to breathe it.
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Later that night, I wouldnt sleep. I was so doped up on endorphins and dopamine, all I wanted to do was ride.. and ride... and ride... (cue the rain)
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Next morning, felt fresh as a daisy, but a quick trip to the little boys room reminded me I need to keep my water intake up, alot.
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During the day today, felt very fresh and looking forward to my 2nd session tonight....
Try it. While I cant explain it (or at least articulate it), I think its an experience everyone should try. Even just once. Im going to be doubling up my sessions with an afternoon altitude session after morning strength sessions. Ill report more as I go, if anyones interested.
Apart from all that, Im in love. Im in love with another bike. I know, N+1 and all but, this ones different. This one Ive been wanting a long time. Hopefully my clients will help me out, pay their bills on time and maybe.. just maybe.. she will be mine. God I love bikes.
See you at My Sweetopia soon.
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